Today I will break my fast. I'm attending a retreat this weekend and will join my table-mates at dinner tonight. I've prepped juices to last me through today. I've packed veggies and hummus, fruit, nuts, and almond butter. There will be enough food choices at meals to allow me to make good choices. The fruits and veggies I'm taking will help me ease back into solid food. I wonder how I'm going to feel not having any juice at all on Saturday? I'm already anticipating juicing as soon as I'm home on Sunday - or finding the nearest Whole Foods or Nekter once I leave the campground. Sunday I'll be in downtown LA with my daughter and I don't think I'll pass up on a bacon-wrapped hotdog from a street vendor...it's a tradition I'm unwilling to break. :)
Now that it's coming to a close it seems like it went quickly. Of course I remember being at 20 days and feeling like it was never going to end. Facing the end of the fast fills me with a bit of trepidation.
Has it been long enough to build new habits? Will my discipline to juice transfer over to discipline with my day-to-day diet? What will it be like to eat food again? I'm sure it will be shockingly easy to scarf down anything I choose to put in my mouth (Sunday's hotdog will test and prove my wonderings.)
I'm so glad that I did this fast. I feel so much better and encouraged that I can take control of the out-of-control areas of my life. I confessed to friends last night that the focus required on this one thing for the last 30 days makes me feel like I've missed out on other things - and I have. My mind isn't (yet) trained to welcome that exchange. Giving up things that are unhealthy or are bad for me isn't the difficult choice; it's giving up on things that aren't necessarily bad for me. It's admitting what's not bad for me but might also not be good for me. That gray area is just so...gray. My success in completing this fast is shining some light on it and, with God's loving-kindness and long-suffering grace, I will be able to see the difference between what's good and what's best.
I'll give an update next week about my transition back onto solid food.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Reboot - Days 25-28
Today is four weeks. I could complete the fast today and not feel cheated in the least but it's not today. I'll talk more about breaking the fast when I post tomorrow.
Thursday is weigh-day. I've lost 1/2 lb this week. Isn't that crazy? I'm certainly not too thin to continue loosing weight. Have you noticed the pattern? Week 1 I lost 4 lbs; week 2 I lost 1.5 lbs; week 3 I lost 7 lbs; and week 4 I lost 1.5 lbs. I'm still at least 5 lbs more than my goal weight. And who knows, I might lose more weight next week since it's the every-other-week on which I seem to lose.
I have felt great the last three days- for the last 20 days. My energy is good, no sinus issues, my head is clear, and my clothes are comfortable. I've been sleeping soundly for 7-8 hours ever night with no night sweats. The only sleep issues I've had occurred two times when I drank juice too closely to bed time. I slept hard for about 4 hours, got up to use the bathroom, and then couldn't get back to sleep because I'd had such a hard sleep already. Not so good. I was a little sleepy during the day and hit the bed hard the next night.
I look forward to not spending an hour prepping juices every night. I may have said it before but sharing a kitchen means that it's inconvenient for me to monopolize the kitchen. My roommate has been absolutely supportive and accomodating. I so appreciate her moral and practical support.
Even so, I'm ready to be done. And I'm ready to continue juicing as part of my daily diet. I love some of the juices so much I've been trying to work it out in my head how I can have them all everyday. That's not very realistic but I can alternate them from one day to the next.
Thursday is weigh-day. I've lost 1/2 lb this week. Isn't that crazy? I'm certainly not too thin to continue loosing weight. Have you noticed the pattern? Week 1 I lost 4 lbs; week 2 I lost 1.5 lbs; week 3 I lost 7 lbs; and week 4 I lost 1.5 lbs. I'm still at least 5 lbs more than my goal weight. And who knows, I might lose more weight next week since it's the every-other-week on which I seem to lose.
I have felt great the last three days- for the last 20 days. My energy is good, no sinus issues, my head is clear, and my clothes are comfortable. I've been sleeping soundly for 7-8 hours ever night with no night sweats. The only sleep issues I've had occurred two times when I drank juice too closely to bed time. I slept hard for about 4 hours, got up to use the bathroom, and then couldn't get back to sleep because I'd had such a hard sleep already. Not so good. I was a little sleepy during the day and hit the bed hard the next night.
I look forward to not spending an hour prepping juices every night. I may have said it before but sharing a kitchen means that it's inconvenient for me to monopolize the kitchen. My roommate has been absolutely supportive and accomodating. I so appreciate her moral and practical support.
Even so, I'm ready to be done. And I'm ready to continue juicing as part of my daily diet. I love some of the juices so much I've been trying to work it out in my head how I can have them all everyday. That's not very realistic but I can alternate them from one day to the next.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Reboot - Days 22-24
It's Sunday evening and I'm so pleased to say I've made it through another weekend. The last weekend, really. I was running around yesterday and had two Orange Carrot Karma juices from Jamba before the day was out. I finally made some juices last night so that I wouldn't be without today.
My mother's day lunch consisted of a Tropical Cooler from Nekter Juice Bar. It has coconut butter in it and was quite a treat. I don't know exactly what coconut butter is but I intend to find out and get me some. It was delicious. As much as I enjoyed my smoothie, the (authentic) Greek food my daughter had for my mother's day lunch was almost too much to resist. However, once I was full from my drink, the food no longer tempted me. Full is full.
My mother's day lunch consisted of a Tropical Cooler from Nekter Juice Bar. It has coconut butter in it and was quite a treat. I don't know exactly what coconut butter is but I intend to find out and get me some. It was delicious. As much as I enjoyed my smoothie, the (authentic) Greek food my daughter had for my mother's day lunch was almost too much to resist. However, once I was full from my drink, the food no longer tempted me. Full is full.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Reboot - Day 21
Today is Thursday and Thursday is weigh-in day. I weigh myself on two different scales (for no particular reason) and last week they were exactly the same: 161.5 lbs. Today they had a 3 lb. difference. The standard step-on style weighed me at 156 lbs. The other scale, the kind with the slider weight that doctors used to use, weighed me at 153 lbs. Ok. I'm happy with either number.
I imagine 3-8 lbs of the weight loss can be attributed to cleaned out intestines. I've dropped a pant size (remember that I'm 5 feet 9 inches and 10 lbs is worth a pants size to me. I'm much more comfortable in my clothes and have a couple blouses that I'll have to take in so I can keep them in my wardrobe. I also have a couple pairs of pants that are still a bit snug, one of which I just bought last weekend. Not sure if that's positive thinking or wishful thinking.
I imagine 3-8 lbs of the weight loss can be attributed to cleaned out intestines. I've dropped a pant size (remember that I'm 5 feet 9 inches and 10 lbs is worth a pants size to me. I'm much more comfortable in my clothes and have a couple blouses that I'll have to take in so I can keep them in my wardrobe. I also have a couple pairs of pants that are still a bit snug, one of which I just bought last weekend. Not sure if that's positive thinking or wishful thinking.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Reboot - Days 19 & 20
It's Day 20. If I were to tell you it's gone by quickly I'd be lying. Like a rug. If I were to say I think the next 8-10 days will go in a flash, I'd be lying some more. Like a big, fat rug. I'm not at risk of not completing the fast, I'm just kind of bored with the whole process. I'm hoping that the next 8-10 days will be where the magic happens. New habits, more resolve, less thinking about homemade chocolate chip cookies and cake frosting.
When I'm feeling good, as I am now, I tend to forget how lowsy I felt when I was feeling unwell. I don't want to forget it and eek back into old habits, mostly the habit of being too lazy to take care of myself. Hmm. Maybe I need another goal once I've completed this one. (Yes, I know that's goal setting 101.) My first thought is that I'd stay off sugar for another 30 days but I have a vacation coming the week after the Reboot and, while I don't plan to go hog-wild, it's likely I'll have at least a taste here or there of something sweet. Maybe not. Like I've said, I find that if I don't have the first bite I'm not tempted to have the second - or eat it til it's gone.
Did you notice I mentioned the next 8-10 days of the fast? I'm not sure right now if I'll continue for 28 or 30 days. On Friday, the 29th day, I leave for a 2-night retreat, all food included. I won't have a fridge in my room to keep juices so I've not decided when I'll break the fast, at 30 days or 4 weeks. I could take my juicer along and juice throughout the day but I don't like tepid juices so that doesn't sound appealing. Or, I could make up 10 juices on Thursday evening to last thru Saturday night, keeping them in a cooler (how long does ice last in a cooler?). Or, I could juice thru Friday and break the fast on Saturday morning at the retreat. Or, I could make up some juices to take along and take fruit and veggies to fill in the gaps. I'll figure it out next Wednesday. Whether I fast 28 or 30 days, I'll feel like I accomplished my goal.
I'm not planning a special meal when I break the fast. I'll be at the retreat and won't be in control of what I'm served. I'd like to start mostly with fruits and vegetables so I don't shock my system. I'm craving guacamole with carrot chips. Or red bell pepper 'hummus' with veggies. I don't know. I can't think about it too much right now; it makes me too hungry for food.
Oh, and by the way, not having juices prepared for Monday was a bad idea. I had two fresh-squeezed juices from Jamba Juice to make it through the day but psychologically I felt very vulnerable. And hungry. I spent as much on those two juices as I do for a days worth of homemade juices. No bueno.
When I'm feeling good, as I am now, I tend to forget how lowsy I felt when I was feeling unwell. I don't want to forget it and eek back into old habits, mostly the habit of being too lazy to take care of myself. Hmm. Maybe I need another goal once I've completed this one. (Yes, I know that's goal setting 101.) My first thought is that I'd stay off sugar for another 30 days but I have a vacation coming the week after the Reboot and, while I don't plan to go hog-wild, it's likely I'll have at least a taste here or there of something sweet. Maybe not. Like I've said, I find that if I don't have the first bite I'm not tempted to have the second - or eat it til it's gone.
Did you notice I mentioned the next 8-10 days of the fast? I'm not sure right now if I'll continue for 28 or 30 days. On Friday, the 29th day, I leave for a 2-night retreat, all food included. I won't have a fridge in my room to keep juices so I've not decided when I'll break the fast, at 30 days or 4 weeks. I could take my juicer along and juice throughout the day but I don't like tepid juices so that doesn't sound appealing. Or, I could make up 10 juices on Thursday evening to last thru Saturday night, keeping them in a cooler (how long does ice last in a cooler?). Or, I could juice thru Friday and break the fast on Saturday morning at the retreat. Or, I could make up some juices to take along and take fruit and veggies to fill in the gaps. I'll figure it out next Wednesday. Whether I fast 28 or 30 days, I'll feel like I accomplished my goal.
I'm not planning a special meal when I break the fast. I'll be at the retreat and won't be in control of what I'm served. I'd like to start mostly with fruits and vegetables so I don't shock my system. I'm craving guacamole with carrot chips. Or red bell pepper 'hummus' with veggies. I don't know. I can't think about it too much right now; it makes me too hungry for food.
Oh, and by the way, not having juices prepared for Monday was a bad idea. I had two fresh-squeezed juices from Jamba Juice to make it through the day but psychologically I felt very vulnerable. And hungry. I spent as much on those two juices as I do for a days worth of homemade juices. No bueno.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Reboot - Days 16-18
Weekends are definately a challenge. Friday night(Day 16) I got together with a couple of friends and I had my first cheat; sangria. I don't even like red wine but it looked tasty and I had 4-6 ounces with fruit. It tasted so strongly of alcohol that I liked it even less than usual. I wonder what else might taste differently and less appealing than pre-fast.
Saturday (Day 17) I helped clean up after a women's tea at my church. I knew the tables would be set with lots of 'goodies' and didn't want to sit there seeing and smelling it all so I didn't attend the tea. I volunteered for clean up thinking I'd breeze through with no temptatioins. Once the florentine cookies and meatballs and coffee were packed away I was good. Can't there be a world-wide ban on florentine cookies?! After an hour+ of washing dishes I was stoked to walk out with 3 gallon bags of leftover strawberries for juicing. Delicious. I stuck to my guns by not having even one bite and I can do it again...and again and again and again. And again.
Today (Day 18) has also been busy and I've been hungry and craving food. I want savory food. I want meat. I've got to stop looking at recipes. It's wierd but whenever I fast I love to read recipes and cookbooks. It's never been tortuous before but I've also never fasted for this long. I think the length of time before I can eat is the difference. Maybe I'll change my reading material until the last week of the fast.
Today is the first time that I didn't prep juices for the next day. I share a house with a friend and today the kitchen was otherwise occupied in the short time that I was home. I have 2 small juices in the fridge but I'll have to either run home and juice at lunch or go to Jamba Juice for a carrot/banana/mango combo (can't remember the name). I could also go to Nekktar but it's across the busy part of town so I'll likely land at Jamba. I don't like that I'm not better prepared for tomorrow. I won't do that again.
Saturday (Day 17) I helped clean up after a women's tea at my church. I knew the tables would be set with lots of 'goodies' and didn't want to sit there seeing and smelling it all so I didn't attend the tea. I volunteered for clean up thinking I'd breeze through with no temptatioins. Once the florentine cookies and meatballs and coffee were packed away I was good. Can't there be a world-wide ban on florentine cookies?! After an hour+ of washing dishes I was stoked to walk out with 3 gallon bags of leftover strawberries for juicing. Delicious. I stuck to my guns by not having even one bite and I can do it again...and again and again and again. And again.
Today (Day 18) has also been busy and I've been hungry and craving food. I want savory food. I want meat. I've got to stop looking at recipes. It's wierd but whenever I fast I love to read recipes and cookbooks. It's never been tortuous before but I've also never fasted for this long. I think the length of time before I can eat is the difference. Maybe I'll change my reading material until the last week of the fast.
Today is the first time that I didn't prep juices for the next day. I share a house with a friend and today the kitchen was otherwise occupied in the short time that I was home. I have 2 small juices in the fridge but I'll have to either run home and juice at lunch or go to Jamba Juice for a carrot/banana/mango combo (can't remember the name). I could also go to Nekktar but it's across the busy part of town so I'll likely land at Jamba. I don't like that I'm not better prepared for tomorrow. I won't do that again.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Reboot - Day 15 The Choice is Mine
Woohoo! I love things that make me say 'wohoo'. It's one of my favorite words. Today, it's definately a woohoo day. For two reasons: I've juice fasted for 15 days. I think that's quite an accomplishment for me and I could easily forget to celebrate it in light of reason #2...I only have 15 days to go! I'm hungry right now so the idea of filling my tummy is quelshing my feelings of accomplishment. Give me a second while I go drink a bit of juice...
Ok, all better. And that's the thing; my empty stomach is just as filled by juice as it would be by any other late night snack. The problem is I've been craving bad foods (candy, cake - I'm a cake-aholic, chips) more in the last couple days than in the first 10. Let's face it, chocolate chip cookies and chips and ice cream are delicious but I'm craving them mentally more than for taste. I get stressed at work and I want candy. I'm 'too tired' to cook so I stop for a pint of ice cream. There's a bowl of chips in front of me so why not eat them all? Stress, fatigue, boredom, habit. They're triggers and they're all still here, lurking just below my resolve to feel better.
And that's what I hope to get out of the next 15 days. I hope that my resolve grows, my bad cravings are replaced with good, my laziness about cooking is replaced with the new habit of being in the kitchen everyday, my taste preferences are reset, and that I feel better and better. And better. Good enough that I see poor food choices for what they are; my choices to live good or to live poorly.
Ok, all better. And that's the thing; my empty stomach is just as filled by juice as it would be by any other late night snack. The problem is I've been craving bad foods (candy, cake - I'm a cake-aholic, chips) more in the last couple days than in the first 10. Let's face it, chocolate chip cookies and chips and ice cream are delicious but I'm craving them mentally more than for taste. I get stressed at work and I want candy. I'm 'too tired' to cook so I stop for a pint of ice cream. There's a bowl of chips in front of me so why not eat them all? Stress, fatigue, boredom, habit. They're triggers and they're all still here, lurking just below my resolve to feel better.
And that's what I hope to get out of the next 15 days. I hope that my resolve grows, my bad cravings are replaced with good, my laziness about cooking is replaced with the new habit of being in the kitchen everyday, my taste preferences are reset, and that I feel better and better. And better. Good enough that I see poor food choices for what they are; my choices to live good or to live poorly.
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