Reboot - Day 29: the beginning is in the ending

Today I will break my fast. I'm attending a retreat this weekend and will join my table-mates at dinner tonight. I've prepped juices to last me through today. I've packed veggies and hummus, fruit, nuts, and almond butter. There will be enough food choices at meals to allow me to make good choices. The fruits and veggies I'm taking will help me ease back into solid food. I wonder how I'm going to feel not having any juice at all on Saturday? I'm already anticipating juicing as soon as I'm home on Sunday - or finding the nearest Whole Foods or Nekter once I leave the campground. Sunday I'll be in downtown LA with my daughter and I don't think I'll pass up on a bacon-wrapped hotdog from a street vendor...it's a tradition I'm unwilling to break. :)

Now that it's coming to a close it seems like it went quickly. Of course I remember being at 20 days and feeling like it was never going to end. Facing the end of the fast fills me with a bit of trepidation.
Has it been long enough to build new habits? Will my discipline to juice transfer over to discipline with my day-to-day diet? What will it be like to eat food again? I'm sure it will be shockingly easy to scarf down anything I choose to put in my mouth (Sunday's hotdog will test and prove my wonderings.)

I'm so glad that I did this fast. I feel so much better and encouraged that I can take control of the out-of-control areas of my life. I confessed to friends last night that the focus required on this one thing for the last 30 days makes me feel like I've missed out on other things - and I have. My mind isn't (yet) trained to welcome that exchange. Giving up things that are unhealthy or are bad for me isn't the difficult choice; it's giving up on things that aren't necessarily bad for me. It's admitting what's not bad for me but might also not be good for me. That gray area is just so...gray. My success in completing this fast is shining some light on it and, with God's loving-kindness and long-suffering grace, I will be able to see the difference between what's good and what's best.

I'll give an update next week about my transition back onto solid food.